“Hey guys, I'm driving and there is this car next to me that has a really cool bumper sticker so I wanted to tell you what it's said so I didn't forget it. It's says, I'm by part of being a hard new Elephant if you kiss my ass. So I thought that was pretty funny.”
TRANSCRIPTION OMG LOFLLLLLLLL. Although, it does sound like I said "I'll harden your elephant." The sticker ACTUALLY said, "I'm bipartisan. I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass."
Anyway, I just came back from my drug test. It took like 2 hours because I didn't pee enough the first time! WHAT THE CRAP, YO. And the TV channels didn't work and there was this creepy old guy who asked me what my sign was and said I was good with my hands and HE WAS CREEPY MCCREEPERSON EWWW. Oh and my job starts on Wednesday now instead of Thursday. Win!